If you have been following my story for a while you know what I try to do. I try to live from a place of basic goodness and help and inspire others to do the same. I have been traveling the globe since January 2012 to contribute to the growth of as many people as possible. I feel the world needs inspiring and noble leadership and I have been and am searching for inspiring people who match that profile. To be able to continue my journey it is pretty important that we find participants and my network in NYC is not that big. So please share this message with all people from NYC you know, using email and all social media you find effective.
The 12 Commandments For Being A Real Man
If you look at the search words that lead people to my website you would get the impression that I am a specialist in ‘being manly’. I owe my authority primarily to my most successful post “12 things every guy should know to become a real man”. Today I will review that post and see if I still agree with what I wrote 2 years ago.
What I didn’t say in the original post was that I owe pretty much all the insights to my awakening experience of March 2004, at 32 years old. That day something broke, my old ‘I” died: I shed a skin. When my old skin, my identity, fell on the floor, shattered in a million pieces, I realized that the ‘I’ I had believed to be true was in fact artificial and – more importantly in the context of today – quite immature. The moment it happened I instantly felt I become a whole and complete man.
Things I love and am grateful for
Good morning! I am going to write another list today because it makes me feel good and because it is my website (I admit I do feel a bit of guilt around making it easy on myself). Last night I was thinking about the things I love.
I am not really sure where it will take me but the idea is to write down any thought without thinking or editing, just blurting out what comes up, for 2-3 minutes or 5 if you are a slow typist like me.
Here we go:
I love people
I love movies (not all of them)
I love to be kind
I love true friendship (to experience and to observe)
I love good food
Create better men
I realize that for the first time since I left Amsterdam I find myself in a cultural and racial melting pot. And I also realize that I missed that. I have seen exactly 3 aboriginals when I was in Australia and for the rest it was pretty much white people. In Asia there were hardly any black people, let alone the Middle East (no women, no black people and no gay people (officially)). India is very crowded and it is safe to say that the Indians are in the majority (although they come in shapes and sizes). I feel comfortable with the wide variety of weird people here. As I am watching the exotic characters that are passing by I feel like being in a zoo, and I mean that in a nice way. I like diversity more than conformity.
Not a rant against consumerism
It is raining very hard outside. It is 18.18 (auspicious timing) and it is getting dark rapidly here in Airlie Beach. I found a spot to write in an internet café. Only thing is that the internet is not working. But at least I can charge my laptop and my phone.
I have 45 bites of sand flees on my right calve alone. I didn’t bother to count the amount of bites on other places on my body but trust me: I have many bites. The bites are very itchy but I have Tiger Balm next to me: to put on the spots where I want to scratch. Tiger Balm relieves the itching. Best tip I had in a long time.
On the road in a hippie van
But being on the road is amazing. I never was into camping so I am completely unexperienced. Yesterday I drove from Sydney to Port Macquarie, some 400 km, of course assisted by the GPS. When I was in Port Macquairie I stopped for food. And I realized I should get ready for sleep. Now what? I certainly did not want to go to a camp ground. Everything is so expensive here and I wasn’t prepared to pay for just parking my van between other vans. So I opened Google Maps on my iPhone and dropped a pin at a little peninsula; the place where the lighthouse turned out to be located.
Less alone then we think
Internally I had a few terrible days but superficially they were amazing. We went to visit the Maha Rishi who was assisted by the Gusti and she had a message for me. Dewa the Balinese healer paid us a surprise visit this morning and did a session with me. All these people have special powers, I personally witnessed a couple of otherworldly things. I had a couple of beautiful conversations with Satya, also a pretty magnificent human being. Regardless, I was being eaten alive inside. I felt being dragged from disappointment to disappointment. And then, after the chi qong class of Sahaj (that obviously sucked in my eyes but was received annoyingly positive by my fellow students) I feel that the veil is being lifted. It is almost embarrassing; when I was asked to share my experience at the end of the class I was so dark and negative and a couple of minutes later I can almost physically see the darkness dissolve. Where did it go?
Living a perfect life
After ‘waking up’ in 2004 the whole chain of cause and effect that lead to the creation of my particular ego and finally the deconstruction of it became instantly clear to me. One way to describe that event was that my ego structure was put under an extreme amount of stress and finally received a final blow that made the structure collapse. It had to endure a mixture of extreme anger, humiliation and rejection that lead to ultimate despair and finally a surrender. Seconds after my ego collapsed I realized it was the greatest blessing a human being can receive. An enormous truth that was hidden in my subconscious was revealed to me. It made me realize that all the blows I had received in my life were necessary to bring me to the breaking point.
A very special place
My first gross impression is that working with these teachers is a complete different story from any other yoga class that I have done. It is working with energy, chakra’s, singing bowls, postures and meditation. Most importantly: I am exposed to their presence and there is something going on in their energy fields. It was not (yet) demanding on my body but at the end of the morning session with Sahaj I found myself crying, mourning about old feelings of abandonment. In the afternoon Satya brought tears to my eyes when I realized she would accept me completely as the human being that I am at this moment. The roller coaster of experiences and emotions give me the feeling that I am in a washing machine.
It’s all good
The black panther appeared three times in one day. Quite remarkable, don’t you think? What to think of that? My usual response to these miracles is to shrug. It is nice of course but I never had some kind of result or answer. I also feel that if God is trying to so hard to send me a message and He can make black panthers appear in my daily life, why can’t He send me a clearer message? Just a note on the kitchen table would do fine. He knows how thick I am and He should therefore know that I don’t understand what he means with the panthers, especially in this phase of my life (the panther taught me about relationships which doesn’t seem to be relevant at the moment).
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