Inspiration – Page 10

The power of love

May 26, 2012 By Atalwin Pilon Leave a Comment

I am sitting in some little restaurant a couple of minutes from our classroom. I am experiencing ‘the avalanche effect’. In the tantra tradition it is recommended that Shiva (the man) and Shakti (the woman) create distance between them after their union. So instead of having lunch with my fellow participants I am now by myself, experiencing and processing the exercises of this morning.

The avalanche effect allows the energy that is built up during the union to expand. The love and the bliss that is generated can now be spread over the whole town and the desire for more is fueled.

It is an interesting practice because the feeling that we now call ‘expansion’ is in conventional language called ‘missing your loved one’ and experienced as somewhat undesirable. It can feel nice to miss somebody because we become aware of our love for the other. But it can also feel as painful and a form of suffering; at least that is how it feels for me. Or better: for Atalwin.

Just shut the fuck up and listen

May 12, 2012 By Atalwin Pilon Leave a Comment

Today during lunch I felt so strong. I just know I am onto something good. Things will work out even if i am challenged from time to time. I feel invincible, unstoppable. A friend send me a song that reminded her of me. The song is about somebody who is tracing down the truth and unwilling to play along with the mass theatre of ignorance. There is something sad about the song. It says that historically this kind of people used to be killed for its message but nowadays he will just be ignored and silenced. Well, this might be true but I am not giving up, not for a long time. We shall see what it takes to break me and if I can be broken.

When I was waiting for my food I fell into meditation. A mantra came to me. It is not so subtle. This is it: just shut the fuck up and listen. This is meditation in a nutshell: stop the useless babble and listen to what is going on, inside and outside. We miss so much because of the voices of self criticism, self consciousness, judgment and rejection. Our whole life passes by and we miss it. Just shut the fuck up and listen. I love it that my sadhguru is so blunt. I think I got it.

The next level

May 11, 2012 By Atalwin Pilon

I have decided to try to spend some time meditating in a monastery. The possibilities for trekking are limited and I have been contemplating what to do. The guys that I have been accompanying the last days will move on to other places. I could do the same and leave Ladakh to find nature somewhere else. Or I could stay and give up the wish for trekking and look for a place that facilitates deepening. I will do the latter. Hopefully I am fortunate enough to fall with my nose in the butter and will I meet a beautiful teacher: a warrior that I can write about.

It is a difficult decision. Ladakh I too beautiful to spent just 3 days walking. I wish I could stay here for 6 months. But this is not the case. I choose for the meditation because I feel I have a chance to open up part of my subconscious I haven’t opened before. Also, I feel ready. And I would like to arrive in Hong Kong well prepared as I have the feeling that there will be a lot of work to do.

A beautiful mistake

May 7, 2012 By Atalwin Pilon 3 Comments

Although I am approaching the summit, I am getting more and more exhausted. I am wondering, either Ladakhi’s have a completely different concept of a baby trek or I am on the wrong path. And if I am on the wrong path the buildings that I can barely see at the top could be a deserted monastery and I will have to sleep in an improvised place. I found some melting ice and an old hunters hut so I would have some water and shelter. I would be cold but I was sure I would be ok. The other thought that crossed my mind was: what if I make to the buildings and it indeed turns out to be a monastery and I am welcomed by some ultimately cool enlightened master?

Humbled in the Himalayas

May 3, 2012 By Atalwin Pilon 2 Comments

I am amazed about how different this place is compared to Mumbai or Delhi (although I have spent only 36 hours in Delhi). First of all it is cold of course, about 33 degrees colder than what I was used to. But more interestingly, the people are a lot less submissive. Until now it was hard or even impossible to connect with waiters, rickshaw drivers, maids or street vendors. It almost felt they were a different species; the poorer they were, the more stripped from their humanity and dignity. Many of them had looks in their eyes of wild and abused animals: hollow, exhausted, afraid and powerless. Here it is different. People are friendly, helpful, and polite and try to get you in their shops in a charming way. I wish I were a better photographer because they all do great in pictures.

A beautiful day

April 30, 2012 By Atalwin Pilon 2 Comments

It is Monday today and it is Queensday in Holland, our national holiday. As my friends will roam the streets and canals of Amsterdam I will be in a train from Mumbai to Delhi, and completely sober.

But I feel very happy! I am happy that my friends and my country are celebrating today and I am happy for myself. I feel a sense of completion. Last Saturday I gave my workshop in Mumbai. The initial idea was to give a 2-day workshop and people would have to pay a fee. Nobody registered and my host (and now agent and manager) Anu was disappointed that she would not experience what my work was about. This made me decide to just throw a last minute 1-day gig for her and her friends, as a present to her. I expected about 10 people. To my surprise 26 people showed up; even a bigger group than in Beirut.

Every day a brand new day

April 24, 2012 By Atalwin Pilon 4 Comments

When we are open to it our days are filled with all kinds of little surprises and miracles. Who would have guessed an hour ago that I would sit outside writing my blog (now with two dogs trying to play with me. Ah, the dogs kicked sand all over my precious AirBook. That’s it, Mr Adventurous is going back inside). Where was I? We have a choice. We can either try to control, manipulate, avoid or decrease our experience (as we generally do, just observe your inner commentary on everything if you don’t believe me) or we can embrace it as it is presented to us. We can open up to the moment. It is not a nuisance that the moods of your co-workers can differ every day; it is a miracle. The sun comes out: people start to undress and flirt. It rains: people become moody. Isn’t it fascinating? The world becomes a field of play.

Calming down

April 18, 2012 By Atalwin Pilon 3 Comments

I feel good about myself. I started my solo retreat. I meditated about 1 hour and 45 minutes today, swam about 1 km, did some strength exercises and ate healthy and moderate. I feel my system is quieting down, I feel that nature is taking care of me.

I am reading a book called “Autobiography of a Yogi” by Paramahansa Yogananda and I find it very fascinating (and humbling). It is published in 1946 and written by a yogi who lived from 1893 to 1952. He was the first yogi master to come to the United States. I have read about 200 pages and at this point he is still called Mukanda. He talks about his spiritual path and the remarkable encounters he had. The thing is, all these stories are mind-blowing if you can believe them or just or just ludicrous if you can’t.

Sex 2.0

March 29, 2012 By Atalwin Pilon 2 Comments

I just saw a movie called Bliss, it came out in ’97 and was directed by Lance Young. The story is about a young couple. The man loves his woman dearly but she is emotionally troubled. Their relationship is challenged. They go to therapy but without too much success. Then the man finds out his wife is cheating on him. Turns out that the guy she is ‘sleeping’ with is a sex therapist called Balthazar (played by Terence Stamp). Initially the husband wants to beat the shit out the therapist for fucking his wife. Later, as the therapist explains his work, he becomes his student, devoted to heal his woman. The movie explains what a tantric path is about, how sex can be a path of healing.

As if a prayer is heard

March 9, 2012 By Atalwin Pilon Leave a Comment

My journey is primarily personal. I am doing what I believe in. I am deeply convinced that we as human beings need to break out of our paradigm of deficit, greed and fear. The last 8 years I often felt frustrated that I was unsuccessful at getting that message across on the scale I would like it to be. Although I often feel appreciated and even feel that people I work with have great results I often had a hard time to make ends meet, which brought up doubt at times. My journey at 40 is also intended as a closure with the past and going to the next level. It is about my need and desire to mature and take responsibility. And this is all good and stuff. But not for one second I had expected to actually be welcomed. That people would respond with gratitude and respect is something I had never fathomed. And I don’t think it is personal, that it is my special aura or something. It seems that just the fact that a fellow human being is coming with good intentions, who wants to share something that is experienced as deeply needed, is as if a prayer is heard.

Are you ready to become a Warrior?