I just meditated for a full hour, quite effortless. No pain in knees or body, no major distractions. Afterwards I just stood outside of my room, warming myself in the morning sun. Small birds are singing, the mountains are majestic and calm.
Yesterday we walked from Diskit to Hunder and on the way back there was a sand storm. The surroundings are beautiful, spellbinding.
Again I had strange dreams. I dreamt about an ex-girlfriend and about receiving a message that my brother had died in an accident and I had to row somewhere, I met a girl (now woman) who was a classmate in elementary school, there was an ice cream store and the news about my brother turned out to be false which was a relief. Although I feel rested and calm I also feel puzzled. This time I had a moment where I woke up with a feeling of distress.
What does it mean? What comes up is that the altitude gives the subconscious more space to surface. Maybe this is why the monasteries are built in such high places.
I have decided to try to spend some time meditating in a monastery. The possibilities for trekking are limited and I have been contemplating what to do. The guys that I have been accompanying the last days will move on to other places. I could do the same and leave Ladakh to find nature somewhere else. Or I could stay and give up the wish for trekking and look for a place that facilitates deepening. I will do the latter. Hopefully I am fortunate enough to fall with my nose in the butter and will I meet a beautiful teacher: a warrior that I can write about.
It is a difficult decision. Ladakh I too beautiful to spent just 3 days walking. I wish I could stay here for 6 months. But this is not the case. I choose for the meditation because I feel I have a chance to open up part of my subconscious I haven’t opened before. Also, I feel ready. And I would like to arrive in Hong Kong well prepared as I have the feeling that there will be a lot of work to do.
I have a deep desire to go the ‘next level’, whatever that may mean. I want to shed another skin, feel freer. I want to have a deeper understanding of True Nature or Buddha Nature. So let’s see if there is something available in Ladakh. And if not, I will improvise and go rafting in Manali or something.
PS: “To fall with your nose in the butter” is a Dutch expression. Google it if you feel confused. 😉
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