Nothing is fixed

Cali, Valle del Cauca, Colombia.

The last days have been a bit boring but still interesting. One thing that is remarkable is to notice how exhausted I was. The second night I slept more than 11 hours I think. Normally I find it hard to make 7 hours per night. But every time I arrive at a new location my body seems to take time to rest from the previous adventure or to readjust to the new place.

The other thing is that I have to create space on both my iPhone and my MacBook. Because I am clumsy with computers my pictures and videos are saved 3 or more times on my computer, taking up all the space. The ‘geniuses’ at the Apple Store could not help me do it with just one flick of a button. I have to weed through thousands of pics manually and upload all the videos to YouTube. This takes hours and hours.

By organizing the photos and putting them in folders named after the countries I visited I do get to relive the year. I still think I am a lousy photographer but I did have a cool year. In every country I had multiple adventures: different places, different nature, different climate, different people and different jobs or activities. It made me feel appreciative of the things I have done.

It is kind of sad that my heart ached during such a large chunk of my journey. But hey, that’s me. I have a hard time letting go of what I believe in and love. It is not such a bad characteristic; it just makes life a bit more difficult some times. I do feel I am healing, to be honest. I don’t feel so burdened by the future anymore.

The reason for that is not the one I would have had signed up for when I started: I realized the other day that I have been disappointed so often that I just don’t give a shit anymore. Things just don’t go as planned or hoped, dreams are not fulfilled and expectations not met. But there is always an alternative. There is always an unexpected turn. Things always work out. Deeply feeling that is wisdom, I realized.

Tomorrow morning I am invited to come meet the coordinator of some exclusive high school. Perhaps I will be teaching the teenagers of Colombian politicians and drug lords soon about how to live with a straight back and an open heart. Sounds interesting to me. But I also received an invitation from a Navajo Chief to travel with them through the US for a while. Sounds cool too. Since I must create an income coming year so it might be wise to visit the US again. But for now I will take some rest before I go back to the shamans to intensify my practice more then ever before. I bought an app for my iPhone that is supposed to teach me Spanish. That will keep me busy for a while.

I could use some help. The amount of people that visit this website is not that bad, I think. 7300 people visited this month (I am curious if that is a lot or a little and if these are all real people or also spam robots). But still I am nowhere to be found on Google. How to change that? Where to start and who to call? I want this website to be more efficient without selling my soul. Do you know who can help me?

Oh and since I am asking for favors: I am on LinkedIn and nowadays you can endorse people’s skills with just a mouse click. If you feel I deserve your endorsement please go to my profile and click away. I think it will help me show up in search results.

Meanwhile I am going with the flow, trusting my intuition and instincts. From the one perspective I am paving my own path, from the other I am guided. I am curious about the outcome. Everything is open, nothing is fixed.