Day in day out we are protecting ourselves. We are protecting ourselves from disappointment, judgment, pain, fear, failure and embarrassment. Keeping on a distance all the feelings and experiences we don’t want is a busy job. Of course our desire for protection influences our behavior. We bend, duck, dive and hide, it’s all justified in our quest for safety. Since we are already busy protecting ourselves from all these negative influences we might as well start shielding ourselves from love, success, intimacy and harmony. Just thinking of the pain we will experience when these states of mind will leave us again is unbearable. Better not loved at all then loved and lost.
We spend lots of energy on lying, denying, hiding and pretending, doing everything that is needed to maintain our self image and keeping ourselves locked up in our self made cage. Meanwhile we complain that we are unhappy, unhealthy, lonely, misunderstood and tired. We suffer. Life is painful. Which is unfair because we have designed our whole life around the escapement from pain. Now we feel punished twice and abandoned by God. We feel very sorry for ourselves. If we could drown in the tears of our self pity we would.
What to do? How to escape from this hopeless sadness? Well, you just stop it. Stop your hiding, lying and pretending. Accept the truth. Stop trying to escape from reality. Enough is enough. Just start being honest. Mourn. The planet Earth will not stop turning when you give up deceiving yourself. Trust me on that one.
*sheds a tear* …
Time to live!!!! thanks for this post!