We are about to leave Ubud. I’m packed and ready, waiting for the bill and Mike. We will go to a place called The Organic Farm, a very remote place in the north of Bali. I’m curious. Also I hope that my brother will come visit us there (he lives in Bali but had been away since Christmas, now he is back.).
This morning we went back to the holy ponds of Tirta Empul. And because there is less time in between the visit and writing this up, my experience is fresher and I feel that I want to make an attempt to put it into words.
I feel open and quiet, I feel love and tenderness flowing but with that comes the sadness. I miss my girlfriend. I wish I could have shared this experience with her. I feel gratitude. I feel astonished that this pond has that effect on me. I feel humble. I feel bliss. I feel confused.
Bathing in this pond feels similar to the aftermath of an ayahuasca ceremony, a sweat lodge, a meditation retreat, a yoga class or a Biodanza workshop. I don’t understand that. Of course, I know it is true because it feels true and I can give a smart explanation. Somehow all these paths lead us to the same place, a place of openness. But how in the world can praying under a fountain lead to the same experience as tying yourself in a knot at the Yoga Barn? My rational mind is too limited to understand this.
But you know what it is, this is just outside the jurisdiction of the rational mind. This is the domain of the heart, the soul and the divine. This experience is what is meant with basic goodness. It is in all of us but we cannot posess it, we can experience it but we cannot grasp it. This is why I feel that it is of absolute importance to do this stuff even when the rational mind cannot grasp it (or especially when the rational mind cannot grasp it): it is an opportunity to reconnect with our innate basic goodness. Experiencing that goodness feels so good and so true that it doesn’t matter what the judgments of the ego are about the weirdness of the things we need to to do to find that place. Breathe, pray, stretch yourself like a dog (downward), or submerse yourself in holy water, it’s ok. It is more than ok, it is fundamentally good. For you, for me, for others, for the planet. Because it aligns us with life.
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